Dealing with, well, stuff

Oh, the joys of growing up. Of looking around you, not really knowing who's your friend and who's not. A lot of people take it upon themselves to act like a friend to your face and are mean behind your back, but those aren't the worst people. At least you know what to expect from those people and you can be careful around them, concealing your words so they don't know about your life. The worst, are your actual friends. The ones who are meant to be there for you to have a girly gossip on the phone too, who bring round pizza when you're upset. Yes, they can be great but also vindictive. They can spite your words, turn them ugly and cruel when they never were, create poison from water. They can leave you out, putting pictures on social media so you can't miss out on the fun through the screen of a phone! They can decide one week you're best friends, you'll always be there for each other, and the next they roll their eyes at your stories and won't reply to your texts. It's funny how people can change and once you see them in an ugly light, it never focus' back to the beauty of them bring blurred under water where you can only see part of them. Those friends who go against you and act hot and cold against your friendship are a nightmare, you can't force them out of the group yet you don't want to spend time with them, or vice versa. If you're blunt and try to talk it out, things become heated and you can't say anything without it sounding vindictive. It is morally hard for anyone to say what they really feel to anyone, many hide treasured secrets where no one can see them and create boundaries so no one sees them for who they really are. Marina and the Diamonds once said 'pick a personality for free, when you feel like nobody' which I think we are all unwillingly subjected too. When we feel upset or sad within ourselves, it's hard to reach out to anyone, especially as a teenager to family, as they brand you as overly hormonal and don't listen to you properly.
I think the teenage years ARENT the worst for parents, but for us. Not even delving into the deep ocean of emotions that are hormones, we have it hard and with each generation it gets harder. The social divisions where only five people, who will most likely end up working at McDonald's, decide if you have what it takes to steams out. You can't be too clever, too dumb, too pretty, too ugly, too showy, too hidden, too expressive, too boring. How are we meant to live? All clones, in the same disgusting trainers, jeans and crop tops? All speaking like we know better than anyone and being rude? How very boring and unoriginal are those people, seen as the princes and princess' at first yet in reality they are as boring as oneself.
I, for one, cannot wait to be an adult. To be able to be free from these stereotypes and get away from school and rules that apply to only a few people. My calender is now purely for counting the days until I go to college. Ah, the life we have to live; a melancholy one at that.
BB x