Oh, the joys of growing up. Of looking around you, not really knowing who's your friend and who's not. A lot of people take it upon themselves to act like a friend to your face and are mean behind your back, but those aren't the worst people. At least you know what to expect from those people and you can be careful around them, concealing your words so they don't know about your life. The worst, are your actual friends. The ones who are meant to be there for you to have a girly gossip on the phone too, who bring round pizza when you're upset. Yes, they can be great but also vindictive. They can spite your words, turn them ugly and cruel when they never were, create poison from water. They can leave you out, putting pictures on social media so you can't miss out on the fun through the screen of a phone! They can decide one week you're best friends, you'll always be there for each other, and the next they roll their eyes at your stories and won't reply to your texts. It's funny how people can change and once you see them in an ugly light, it never focus' back to the beauty of them bring blurred under water where you can only see part of them. Those friends who go against you and act hot and cold against your friendship are a nightmare, you can't force them out of the group yet you don't want to spend time with them, or vice versa. If you're blunt and try to talk it out, things become heated and you can't say anything without it sounding vindictive. It is morally hard for anyone to say what they really feel to anyone, many hide treasured secrets where no one can see them and create boundaries so no one sees them for who they really are. Marina and the Diamonds once said 'pick a personality for free, when you feel like nobody' which I think we are all unwillingly subjected too. When we feel upset or sad within ourselves, it's hard to reach out to anyone, especially as a teenager to family, as they brand you as overly hormonal and don't listen to you properly.
I think the teenage years ARENT the worst for parents, but for us. Not even delving into the deep ocean of emotions that are hormones, we have it hard and with each generation it gets harder. The social divisions where only five people, who will most likely end up working at McDonald's, decide if you have what it takes to steams out. You can't be too clever, too dumb, too pretty, too ugly, too showy, too hidden, too expressive, too boring. How are we meant to live? All clones, in the same disgusting trainers, jeans and crop tops? All speaking like we know better than anyone and being rude? How very boring and unoriginal are those people, seen as the princes and princess' at first yet in reality they are as boring as oneself.
I, for one, cannot wait to be an adult. To be able to be free from these stereotypes and get away from school and rules that apply to only a few people. My calender is now purely for counting the days until I go to college. Ah, the life we have to live; a melancholy one at that.
BB x
Thursday, 19 February 2015
Saturday, 14 February 2015
The Least Hopeful Day
Ah what a time to be alive, a day whereupon we all transform into Bridget Jones; we throw ourselves into fifty tubs of ice cream, preferably of the chocolate variety and listen to sad music whilst trying to keep the tears at bay as we try and take our minds off of our impending and lonely future.
But do not worry! There are probably twenty women or men within a very close vicinity feeling the same way! We must remember to think about the many joys of being alone on Valentine's Day:
no worrying over if your significant other will like their present,
wasting money on a present your partner will most likely forget about
plus there are no high expectations of you on the day, no worries about looking breath taking for your super expensive meal. That is the joy of loneliness; you can sit in your leggings all day and eat nothing but pizza and no one is any the wiser(I hope).
In reality, Valentine's day isn't that important or note worthy. So many worry over being alone and become agitated of not having found the one, be it if they are 16 or 38. But all those people you see, sharing pictures of what they got, most likely being a Micheal Kors watch on their wrist, or a Thomas Sabo bracelet with a bunch of red roses drooping at the side with an array of emojis and a sentence of how lucky a girl/boy they are, are only sharing to show off how much money was spent on them, not to show how much they love each other. If they were truly satisfied with their love, they probably wouldn't share what they got for everyone to see and keep the day to themselves. So don't worry if on this day you are on your seventh episode on Netflix, or have eaten two pizzas, I can almost bet that all of you will, in the foreseeable future, will have someone to share this day with.
I feel like there is too much pressure on these days on everyone, particularly amongst girls whom all like to have the best boyfriend or girlfriend. Why should there just be one day where everyone shows love to people close to them? Let us not forget that today is about showing love to everyone.
There should not just be one day for this; humanity should choose every day to show love to whoever we please. The government should ligitamtely instil this into all countries, I can't remember the last time I watched the news and heard a happy story. As humans, it confuses me how many see themselves as more impotant than others even though they are made of the complete same things and breathe the exact same air? We all believe in many periods of our lives that we should change ourselves, usually by giving something up , yet we should all really try and be nicer to others. We all have the days where we feel like everyone is against us and hates us and the days where we feel like we are overly loved. I wish every day we could all feel overly loved.
Which brings me back to my point that really, is Valentine's Day that important? Should we really feel like we're failures if we're sat alone reading this blog today? Or should I, whilst writing this, compel myself to believe that I should be at a meal with my adoring boyfriend?
To everyone, Valentine's day can hold certain memories. I am merely a small voice in your head trying to cheer you up on such a woeful day. If you enjoy Valentine's day, then great! But for all those singletons out there, know that we are all here, in the form of an Internet supoort group, though you can only hear my side of things.
Also, apologies for the lack of blogging recently, I have been in a Pretty Little Liiars induced Netflix coma. Never have I been so shocked by a programme. Or scared.
So, I truly hope today you have been happy and had a wonderful day. If you have any pressing issues, comment them and I will happily try and advise you on how to deal with them. But if not. Do not worry, I shall be back with another long ramble very soon.
I am trying to repress the urge of simple signing this blog post 'A'.
sincerely,
B.B x
But do not worry! There are probably twenty women or men within a very close vicinity feeling the same way! We must remember to think about the many joys of being alone on Valentine's Day:
no worrying over if your significant other will like their present,
wasting money on a present your partner will most likely forget about
plus there are no high expectations of you on the day, no worries about looking breath taking for your super expensive meal. That is the joy of loneliness; you can sit in your leggings all day and eat nothing but pizza and no one is any the wiser(I hope).
In reality, Valentine's day isn't that important or note worthy. So many worry over being alone and become agitated of not having found the one, be it if they are 16 or 38. But all those people you see, sharing pictures of what they got, most likely being a Micheal Kors watch on their wrist, or a Thomas Sabo bracelet with a bunch of red roses drooping at the side with an array of emojis and a sentence of how lucky a girl/boy they are, are only sharing to show off how much money was spent on them, not to show how much they love each other. If they were truly satisfied with their love, they probably wouldn't share what they got for everyone to see and keep the day to themselves. So don't worry if on this day you are on your seventh episode on Netflix, or have eaten two pizzas, I can almost bet that all of you will, in the foreseeable future, will have someone to share this day with.
I feel like there is too much pressure on these days on everyone, particularly amongst girls whom all like to have the best boyfriend or girlfriend. Why should there just be one day where everyone shows love to people close to them? Let us not forget that today is about showing love to everyone.
There should not just be one day for this; humanity should choose every day to show love to whoever we please. The government should ligitamtely instil this into all countries, I can't remember the last time I watched the news and heard a happy story. As humans, it confuses me how many see themselves as more impotant than others even though they are made of the complete same things and breathe the exact same air? We all believe in many periods of our lives that we should change ourselves, usually by giving something up , yet we should all really try and be nicer to others. We all have the days where we feel like everyone is against us and hates us and the days where we feel like we are overly loved. I wish every day we could all feel overly loved.
Which brings me back to my point that really, is Valentine's Day that important? Should we really feel like we're failures if we're sat alone reading this blog today? Or should I, whilst writing this, compel myself to believe that I should be at a meal with my adoring boyfriend?
To everyone, Valentine's day can hold certain memories. I am merely a small voice in your head trying to cheer you up on such a woeful day. If you enjoy Valentine's day, then great! But for all those singletons out there, know that we are all here, in the form of an Internet supoort group, though you can only hear my side of things.
Also, apologies for the lack of blogging recently, I have been in a Pretty Little Liiars induced Netflix coma. Never have I been so shocked by a programme. Or scared.
So, I truly hope today you have been happy and had a wonderful day. If you have any pressing issues, comment them and I will happily try and advise you on how to deal with them. But if not. Do not worry, I shall be back with another long ramble very soon.
I am trying to repress the urge of simple signing this blog post 'A'.
sincerely,
B.B x
Tuesday, 6 January 2015
Dealing with Unhappiness
Someone on my Instagram asked me recently to write about overcoming unhappiness and in serious cases, depression. This is a tricky concept and one has to tread lightly. There are times in ones life where sadness will overcome the happiness that is the bubble which encased you for your younger, more naive days. Being a teenager isn't even really an emotional roller coaster, most of it is a downward track, with a few small ups in between. Really it's a hard time because your emotions are literally all over the place. One day I'll be motivated, ready to be healthy and run every day until I'm toned as can be, then the next day I'm sat at home sobbing as I listen to Sam Smith.
I think depression really does burrow right down into how you feel. It does not show at the surface and it hides extremely easily. It isn't that noticeable in a persons attitude at all. Depression, I believe stems in the mind more than anything. It completely takes over your thoughts and stops you from thinking freely. It doesn't like you thinking alone and feeling positive about yourself. I imagine it as a weed, slowly growing inside of you. Yes, you may think, that's the worst thing to say. Imagining it growing doesn't help! But lets remember that without any water or sun the flower will die.
Now though I am nowhere near being a counselor, as I repeatedly say, I do have some factors that may help you deal with depression. The most important thing is don't feed the depression. Don't give into it. You can control the way you think and feel, even though it doesn't feel like it. If you think bad things about yourself day after day, soon you will become acquainted with that bad thought and accustom it to yourself. Instead of seeing the bad things, try and just focus your mind on good things; for example today instead of thinking "What if i get anxious in school and I'm all alone?!" I thought "How nice does that sunset look? Ooh I can listen to Sam Smith as I walk!". It sounds dull but if you just focus on those tiny parts in your life that offer you some joy it will help your brain start to notice the better things in life and forget the negativity.
I would also make sure to not surround oneself with negative people. There's no point being with someone who constantly puts you down or makes you feel small compared to them, You deserve someone who actually sees beneath your outside attempt at smiles. Also, if your friend says you 'shouldn't be sad' or you 'have nothing to be sad about' then get them out o your life now. It angers me so much to hear of people doubting their emotions because their friend thinks they can evaluate their friends life better than the actual person. If you feel unhappy to the point where you question whether it's a healthy state of sadness, you don't need too back yourself up. Your friends should believe you and offer support.
Don't compare yourself to others. I used to look at other people and be like 'no I get why they're sad' and be like 'but I have no reason, all that's happened is my parents divorcing, I should be happy it's nothing more serious', and it's stupid because depression can target you over anything. Whether you have something disrupting your life or not you are still aloud to suffer from depression. It's not subjected to certain people. If you feel depressed, then that is okay. Instead of fretting over your non existent/none serious problems, focus on beating it.
Don't listen to people. I am constantly told I am a 'drama queen'-even by my doctor over anxiety! Isn't that supportive?-because I don't deal with things well. I don't- I don't like getting on buses, going into open spaces, meeting my friends parents, going to concerts, because that's just my personality. It's not your fault if you are emotional and you feel like you need help. Its not anything to be ashamed of, it's a natural human emotion, just to a more serious extent. Having depression does mean that you will be sensitive and deal with things differently. That's normal-you do have a problem; not a bad problem, it is fixable. You don't see a person with a broken leg walking do you? That makes the situation worse. It's the same with depression.
Try to do more activities which you enjoy-for me it's reading John Green, etc, watching The Great Gatsby over and over, and listening to music, with youtube and food added into the mixture as well. If I have a bad day, I think to myself I have some youtube videos to watch or a book to read. It really does help sometimes to know that there's something you can enjoy at home.
I would also try and confide in someone, I waited three years too and it was a mistake. It's so much nicer being able to message someone if you feel crap. Your friends are there to help you, You don't have to tell everyone, just tell one person or two like I did. In honesty, I can't say TELL A PARENT! because my parents don't know a hell of a lot about what I feel or what I've done(nothing weird by the way, I live a boring life don't worry), you tell them when you are fully ready to. Don't force yourself into it! Take your time.
I could also say, eat healthy and exercise! It makes you feel so much better! like a cheesy commercial. I just go for unhealthy option. I eat so much bad food it's unreal. Not that you should follow that same path, but come on-we all love a Nandos or Mcdonalds. There's no denying it.
I will write more on this topic, as this isn't all there is too say, but my hands are aching and I've been writing this for an hour. Did this help you? Did this offer you any emotional support? If you have a query then just comment it. Or just a comment comment, it's up to you.
I hope you have an amazing rest of your day!
Stay strong and safe my dear readers and fellow bloggers, and let me leave you with some links that will help you!
http://www.relatesandh.org.uk -confidential counselling for teenagers
http://www.cruse.org.uk -support service for 12-18 year olds suffering family bereavement
http://www.youngminds.org,uk -support for young persons mental health+well being
http;//selfharm.co.uk/home -self harm help
Until next time,
B.B x
I think depression really does burrow right down into how you feel. It does not show at the surface and it hides extremely easily. It isn't that noticeable in a persons attitude at all. Depression, I believe stems in the mind more than anything. It completely takes over your thoughts and stops you from thinking freely. It doesn't like you thinking alone and feeling positive about yourself. I imagine it as a weed, slowly growing inside of you. Yes, you may think, that's the worst thing to say. Imagining it growing doesn't help! But lets remember that without any water or sun the flower will die.
Now though I am nowhere near being a counselor, as I repeatedly say, I do have some factors that may help you deal with depression. The most important thing is don't feed the depression. Don't give into it. You can control the way you think and feel, even though it doesn't feel like it. If you think bad things about yourself day after day, soon you will become acquainted with that bad thought and accustom it to yourself. Instead of seeing the bad things, try and just focus your mind on good things; for example today instead of thinking "What if i get anxious in school and I'm all alone?!" I thought "How nice does that sunset look? Ooh I can listen to Sam Smith as I walk!". It sounds dull but if you just focus on those tiny parts in your life that offer you some joy it will help your brain start to notice the better things in life and forget the negativity.
I would also make sure to not surround oneself with negative people. There's no point being with someone who constantly puts you down or makes you feel small compared to them, You deserve someone who actually sees beneath your outside attempt at smiles. Also, if your friend says you 'shouldn't be sad' or you 'have nothing to be sad about' then get them out o your life now. It angers me so much to hear of people doubting their emotions because their friend thinks they can evaluate their friends life better than the actual person. If you feel unhappy to the point where you question whether it's a healthy state of sadness, you don't need too back yourself up. Your friends should believe you and offer support.
Don't compare yourself to others. I used to look at other people and be like 'no I get why they're sad' and be like 'but I have no reason, all that's happened is my parents divorcing, I should be happy it's nothing more serious', and it's stupid because depression can target you over anything. Whether you have something disrupting your life or not you are still aloud to suffer from depression. It's not subjected to certain people. If you feel depressed, then that is okay. Instead of fretting over your non existent/none serious problems, focus on beating it.
Don't listen to people. I am constantly told I am a 'drama queen'-even by my doctor over anxiety! Isn't that supportive?-because I don't deal with things well. I don't- I don't like getting on buses, going into open spaces, meeting my friends parents, going to concerts, because that's just my personality. It's not your fault if you are emotional and you feel like you need help. Its not anything to be ashamed of, it's a natural human emotion, just to a more serious extent. Having depression does mean that you will be sensitive and deal with things differently. That's normal-you do have a problem; not a bad problem, it is fixable. You don't see a person with a broken leg walking do you? That makes the situation worse. It's the same with depression.
Try to do more activities which you enjoy-for me it's reading John Green, etc, watching The Great Gatsby over and over, and listening to music, with youtube and food added into the mixture as well. If I have a bad day, I think to myself I have some youtube videos to watch or a book to read. It really does help sometimes to know that there's something you can enjoy at home.
I would also try and confide in someone, I waited three years too and it was a mistake. It's so much nicer being able to message someone if you feel crap. Your friends are there to help you, You don't have to tell everyone, just tell one person or two like I did. In honesty, I can't say TELL A PARENT! because my parents don't know a hell of a lot about what I feel or what I've done(nothing weird by the way, I live a boring life don't worry), you tell them when you are fully ready to. Don't force yourself into it! Take your time.
I could also say, eat healthy and exercise! It makes you feel so much better! like a cheesy commercial. I just go for unhealthy option. I eat so much bad food it's unreal. Not that you should follow that same path, but come on-we all love a Nandos or Mcdonalds. There's no denying it.
I will write more on this topic, as this isn't all there is too say, but my hands are aching and I've been writing this for an hour. Did this help you? Did this offer you any emotional support? If you have a query then just comment it. Or just a comment comment, it's up to you.
I hope you have an amazing rest of your day!
Stay strong and safe my dear readers and fellow bloggers, and let me leave you with some links that will help you!
http://www.relatesandh.org.uk -confidential counselling for teenagers
http://www.cruse.org.uk -support service for 12-18 year olds suffering family bereavement
http://www.youngminds.org,uk -support for young persons mental health+well being
http;//selfharm.co.uk/home -self harm help
Until next time,
B.B x
Monday, 5 January 2015
So, to my dear readers, do any of you have problems? Do you struggle with anything? If you have anything you need advice or supoort with then comment it under this post. I have some ideas with what to writer, but I want your input. Though this is short, my next will be so long you'll fall asleep mid way through.
Until the next time,
Basic blogger
Until the next time,
Basic blogger
Sunday, 4 January 2015
I exist! Sometimes that's all a teenager wants to scream, be it in a relatives face or a famous persons face. It's usually the latter, in reality. We, as a generation, are labelled moody. Parents will sigh and say that the teenage years are the worst and teachers always seem on the verge of a nervous breakdown in high school. Yet, people fiercely tell us that these are the best days of our lives. Huh? Most teenage years are full of stress, disappointment, heartbreak, and more stress. Sure, there are happy times, prom, finishing school, but for 90% of the time it is really quite hard. There's the fear of coupledom, of how to act being forced into awkward situations. Some teenagers battle with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, the list is endless. Really, it seems like you have to deal with it alone, except for the music you play endlessly in a hope to feel somewhat better. But, let me tell you, you are not alone! I, basic blogger, am here to help you. I will walk with you, or really you walk with me as you read the blog, and help you along the way. Yes, I know I am not a counselor, but I am one of you and I get it. Maybe you seek solace in reading one's blogs and knowing that your life will ever be as awkward as mine,or maybe you need help from someone whom has experienced many a things(mostly crappy) and wants others to know they have support when I did not. I'll be writing about how to make your life more positive, being a better friend with another if they struggle with a mental disorder, anxiety/panic attacks and the danger that is fandoms. I may do it in a jokey way, and use an ironic tone, but know my fellow bloggers, I am being serious.
Until the next time,
Basic Blogger.
Until the next time,
Basic Blogger.
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